Forever and Always
by blackpegasus19
Summary: Natasha and Loki fall in love, have children, but then Natasha cheats on Loki and he is utterly devastated. Their children grow up without their real mother. How is it for Loki?
1. Chapter 1

_~That night I slept on your side of the bed  
__So it was ready when you got home  
__We're like noughts and crosses  
__In that opposites always attract~ Always Attract, You Me At Six_

* * *

_Maybe it was the moon, or the way the stars lit up the sky. The way the moonlight glistened off of the sea, the way the warm summer air brought everything to life. The slow and quiet song her iPod played added to the effect. Her hair was tied back into a bun, a few loose strands framing her face. He stood merely five inches away from her as they swayed slowly to the music on the Mediterranean Sea. They were lost in each others eyes as a smile grew on his face, getting wider as she returned it. _

_"Thank you for this wonderful trip." she whispered, her face lighting up even more._

_"Barcelona is one of my favorite cities in your mortal world." he whispered in return. She laughed at his wording._

_"Is it really necessary for the word 'mortal'?" He laughed, his face lighting up like a child receiving presents on Christmas. _

_"It is only a habit that I have grown up using, darling." he leaned in and kissed her forehead. She looked up to him, her eyes filled with passion and desire. It was her mesmerizing gaze that got him, he realized. It was her charm, determination, and utter stubbornness. The way she bit her lip when she was nervous, the gleam in her eyes when she expected an adventure, her smile brightened his day. _

_"Thinking much?" she interrupted his train of thoughts. _

_"Just wondering." he stated, looking back into her bright blue eyes, getting even more lost by the minute. _

_"About what?" she questioned._

_"Things." he replied, smiling. He knew it got to her when he wouldn't reveal something. _

_"What things?" she asked, glancing down at his lips for a second before staring back into his eyes. He smiled, and decided to live in the moment. He bent down and whispered in her ear,_

_"Things like this." He shifted and kissed her full on, passionate as ever. She returned the passion, kissing with determination and force. He didn't mind though. He was perfectly capable of taming her. She leaned closer until there was no room between their bodies. They lost connection with the rest of the world, and were sucked into their own. She broke away from the kiss and stared into his eyes, silently daring him. He smiled, and kissed her again, this time tender and gently. It was then when they made love for the first time._

_"Forever and Always." Natasha whispered before falling asleep with Loki at her side._

* * *

"Whats wrong?" Loki asked. He noticed that she was quite quiet around him the past few days. He stood from the bed and walked over to her, pulling her into an embrace.

"I have to tell you something." she whispered. He looked down at her, not able to detect anything but worry in her eyes.

"What is it love?"

"I'm pregnant." His heart stopped. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she started sobbing into his chest. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. It felt like hours of silence, but it truly had been a few minutes. Natasha stopped crying and looked up at Loki, wiping her tears away.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered, her voice strained.

"I don't know," he said, his arms pulling her closer. Then the idea popped into his mind. "We could live in the outskirts of Asgard."

"But what about everyone? I can't just disappear for nine months and then reappear again like nothing happened." Natasha took a deep breath. "What about our child? I couldn't bear to give it away, but I can't take care of a child! Let alone a family. What will Fury say? What-"

Loki interrupted her rant. "Shh, darling. Don't worry, I have someone in mind we can trust." Natasha thought about it for a moment.

"But what will my excuse be for being gone for nine months?" Loki smiled.

"A capture, maybe."

"Fine. But when do we leave?" Natasha asked.

"Why not now?" Loki teleported them out of the apartment, and into Asgard without looking back.

* * *

**Any Good? Yes? No? Maybe so? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I know this is mighty short, but I promise longer chapters in the future. **

**Salut,  
**

**blackpegasus19**


	2. Chapter 2

_~We're running out of time  
We've got things on our mind  
And things that we just don't like  
Who do you want to see?  
Who do you want to be tonight?~ Hard to Swallow, You Me At Six_

_**I made this chapter a bit jumpy because it goes through her whole pregnancy. **  
_

* * *

They walked through the busy streets of Madrid on a short trip, their magic disguises hiding them well. Natasha, now three months pregnant, walked down the streets with confidence. Loki had his hand intwined with hers as they stopped to buy some fresh fruits and clothing.

"This is a great place." Natasha said as they walked slowly, the crowed engulfing them every few minutes or so. She enjoyed the business of Madrid, compared to her new home on Asgard. She missed the people.

"Would you like to go eat?" Loki suggested. Natasha nodded, and they walked off to the nearest cafe and sat at a table outside. A waiter came and took their orders and hurried back to make their food.

"So, have you thought of any names?" Loki asked. He frankly didn't know what to name their child, and all of the names he thought of were strange to Natasha.

"I was thinking Maeve or Mac." she stated. The waiter brought out two glasses of ice cold water and said their food would be there in a few minutes. She drank the water hungrily, until there was nothing left but the ice. "What?"

"I was just surprised that you downed that water with only two gulps of air." he stated, smiling. She smiled back.

"Well, I am quite thirsty." Their food came a minute later, and they both indulged in their food. Once it was all gone, they paid and left to walk some more around town.

They found themselves on a boardwalk walking along the sea.

"I don't think I ever thanked you." Natasha said, resting her head on Loki's shoulder. They walked slowly and carefully, as if they were to fall into lava if they fell.

"Well, you're very welcome." Loki kissed the top of her head as they continued to walk until midnight.

* * *

They sat in their little house on the outskirts of Asgard, eating food they had brought home from their trip to Chicago. They had a day spent well.

"This hot dog is very good." Loki said after he finished eating.

"I agree." Natasha said. She stood from their table and walked over to the door. "Would you like to join me?" Loki stood and followed her out the door.

Their house was on the very edge of Asgard, with a nice view of the stars and the worlds beyond. He chose the farthest place from the palace as possible, without leaving Asgard. The house pleased Natasha, so he was happy with it as well. They sat on a bench looking out to the worlds beyond. Loki took a seat next to Natsha, who's belly was growing largely, especially at five months. She leaned into him as they sat their silently, enjoying the view they had for as long as it lasted.

"What do you think life'll be like? When the baby's born." Natasha asked. She didn't know what to expect at all.

"Don't worry. We'll be good parents. We can give them the life we never had." Loki whispered. Natasha snuggled closer to him.

"What do we do if we have twins? Triplets?" Natasha wondered out loud. Loki smiled at the thought.

"Well, we will just have to take care of all of them." Loki replied. They sat there silently until Natasha fell asleep on Loki, who promised to himself he would never ever let his child go through what he did.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Loki asked Natasha while they sat in the waiting room. He sat on the edge of his seat, nervous for the outcome.

"Yes, I'm positive." Natasha stated. "It'll be fine." she said it more for herself than to Loki.

"Natalia Rushman?" A nurse called out her cover name. Loki stood quickly, pulling Natasha up with him. They exchanged glances before following the nurse down the hall. They entered the room farthest away from everyone else, per Natasha's request. "Why don't you lie down and your husband can sit in the chair." She motioned for Natasha to lay down. Natasha did as she was told to, but Loki didn't. He was antsy and was unsure about the ultrasound.

"Loki," Natasha said. "Its okay, just sit down." Her tone was calming and soothing, so he obliged and sat down, pulling the chair to the bedside.

"All right, lets get to it." The overly happy nurse said. "And they are due in two weeks, correct?"

"Yes." Natasha replied.

The nurse started to do the ultrasound. Loki took Natasha's hand in his own, and squeezed it for reassurance. "Congratulations! You are having twins!" the nurse exclaimed. A smile creeped its way up on Loki's face. "Would you like to know the gender?" she asked.

"Ye-" Loki tried to talk but Natasha cut him off.

"No thank you. We'd like a surprise." Natasha was practically beaming with happiness.

"All right. I'll have your photos in a minute." the nurse stepped out of the room, but came back within half a minute. "Here you go! Have a nice day!" she said as Natasha and Loki went out the door of the room. As they walked down the hall, Loki stopped her mid way and kissed her. Natasha was taken by surprise but melted into the kiss almost immediately. When they broke apart, Natasha smiled.

"C'mon." she took his hand and led him out of the hospital.

"Where are we?" Loki asked after their hour long walk. They were surrounded by trees and mountains and no humans.

"Its a surprise." was all Natasha had said within the past half hour. They were walking on a narrow path that had probably not been used in a long time.

"Are we almost there yet?" Loki whinned. Natasha started laughing at his childlike tones.

"Almost there." The air started to get cold, and the wind started to pick up its speed as they hiked higher and higher. Natasha shivered involuntarily.

"Would you like my coat?" Loki asked, taking off his coat and put in on her. "Quite frankly, I don' really need one."

"Thank you." she said. They finally reached the top of the mountain. It had been Natasha's favorite spot when she needed space from the stupid new SHIELD agents who thought themselves equal to her.

Loki loved the view. It was breathtaking. The fog covered most of the sky, the trees looked like thin broccoli, the field of flowers at the valley of the mountain were all carnations and sunflowers.

"Its-"

"Beautiful." Natasha finished his sentence.

"Very." he agreed. He noticed how Natasha seemed quite tired, so me made a bench appear and led her to sit down. She rested her head on his lap as she stared out at the mountains.

"I love you." she whispered, smiling out at the mountains, closing her eyes after a moment or two.

"I love you too." he whispered, kissing the top of her head as she fell asleep.

* * *

She remembered pain, anxiety, and Loki. She couldn't remember where she was, who she was with, or how she got there. Everything had passed so quickly.

"Natasha?" Loki's voice made its way into her head. She opened her eyes to find him staring down at her, worry plastered over his face. He let out a sigh of relief. "I thought you were dead."

"I'm alive and in the flesh." she said. She tried to sit up, but she couldn't. It hurt too much.

"You need to rest. The birthing took away your energy." she was about to close her eyes until he reminded her of her children.

"Where are they?" Natasha asked, the energy suddenly returning to her.

"Would you like to see them?" Loki asked, smiling. He walked over to the two cribs that were on the opposite side of the room. He picked up both children and brought them over to Natasha, one in each arm.

"They're beautiful." tears were welling up in Natasha's eyes, but she blinked them away. There was a little boy and girl. The boy looked exactly like Loki, just with no hair. The girl looked exactly like Natasha, with some hair on her head.

"Are you still pondering on the names Maeve and Mac?" Loki asked. "I quite like them."

"Then those will be their names." Natasha looked down at her children and smiled.

* * *

**Any good? Tell me. I'd like to know. Sorry this chapter is a bit disorganized and quick. It is longer though. Thanks for reading this far!**

**Au Revoir! **

**blackpegasus19**


	3. Chapter 3

_~I'm holdin' on your rope,_  
_Got me ten feet off the ground._  
_And I'm hearin' what you say,_  
_But I just can't make a sound._  
_You tell me that you need me,_  
_Then you go and cut me down..._  
_But wait..._  
_You tell me that you're sorry,_  
_Didn't think I'd turn around..._

_That it's too late to apologize.  
It's too late...  
I said it's too late to apologize.  
It's too late.  
Yeah ~ Apologize, One Republic_

* * *

It had been five months. Five months since they were born. She had spent all of her time dedicated to Maeve and Mac, as if the rest of the world didn't exist. She had been missing from SHEILD for 14 months, and it drove them crazy. Barton had almost quit until they found traces of her in Nevada at a small hospital, but she had disappeared afterwards. Loki had not let her go back to Midgard after their children were born. She had deep desire to go there, but she promised Loki that she'd stay there until they were nine months old. But even now, Loki had rethought his plans, and decided to let her go to Midgard.

They landed on top of the Stark Tower in New York City. Thor was awaiting their arrival.

"Hello Loki, Lady Natasha." Thor greeted them.

"Hello Thor." Loki said. Natasha nodded to him.

"Director Fury wishes to see you both." Thor said sadly. Loki immediately started to get worried.

"What is wrong?" He asked, worry clearly in his voice.

"I do not know what the Director wishes, but you must go to him." Thor said as he turned and walked away. Loki looked down at Natasha, who shrugged.

"It shouldn't be too bad."

* * *

"I what?" Natasha yelled, standing up, her chair falling down backwards.

"I said," Fury said calmly, "You are not allowed to leave SHEILD's premises for 14 months. Its how long you've been gone, its how long we will keep you locked up."

"You know how I get when I'm locked up!" she seethed. The director did nothing to deny it.

"We know. You will still not be allowed to leave. If you do," he paused. "Consequences." Fury seemed so calm about it.

"I must disagree with that, Director-" Loki tried to say.

"I don't care about your opinion. Frankly, I don't care for yours either Romanoff. Whats said is done." Fury paused, and turned to face Loki. "You are not allowed to come back here. Got it?"

"And what if I don't leave?"

"Then I'll lock your ass up back where it was before. This time, I'll shove the Hulk in with ya. Got it?"

"Fine." Natasha said, pulling her chair back up and siting down. "But I get to see him once more." Loki was about to talk but Fury cut him off.

"Deal. Romanoff, go to your quarters. Loki, get the hell out of here." They both didn't move from their seats. "Do you want me to call them in?"

"We're not leaving." Natasha stated. At that exact moment, Hawkeye, the Captain, and Tony barged in.

"Hey!" Tony exclaimed. "We heard you corralled them." Steve gave him a 'don't say anything else' look.

"You know what to do." Fury said. Hawkeye immediately went for Natasha, but Loki got there before him and blocked him.

"Don't you dare." Loki hissed.

"I can and I will." Hawkeye breathed before trying to knock Loki out of the way, but Loki was quick and blocked his blows. The next thing he knew, the Captain had grabbed him and was dragging him away. Loki knew that he'd be seperated from Natasha if they took him now. Right before the Captain was about to exit the room, Loki stuck his leg out and tripped him, forcing the Captain to fall backwards and let Loki go. Loki immediately went for Natasha, who was in Hawkeyes possession. She was screaming at him to let go of her, shivering with anger. He grabbed her from Hawkeye and kissed her, fiercely, intimately, like they would never see each other again. The next thing Loki knew, he was being dragged out by Tony and the Captain, and Natasha was back in Hawkeyes possession. His world went black when the door closed behind them.

* * *

Loki had escaped the prison in Stark Tower and returned to his children. Every night he had come to her to keep her sane. He told her about the children, how they were doing. He was genuinely worried for her. One night when he came, she asked him to leave.

"Why?" he asked, concerned that there was something wrong that she didn't want to tell him.

"Can you please just leave?" she looked him straight in the eye and gave him her best pleading face.

"Fine," he succumbed to her. "but I'm still coming tomorrow."

"Okay." she hugged him until he disappeared.

The next day, she asked him to leave again. It was getting on his nerves. He didnt' know why she was acting this way. Maybe she was just getting distant. Maybe she just wanted to see him. It broke his heart to think that she didn't want him anymore, but her actions seemed intended to show that to him. He was worried for her, scared even. Had they put her on some kind of drug? Had they manipulated her into thinking he was the bad guy? He had changed, and it was quite noticeable. Loki didn't know what to do, or what to ask her. She wouldn't give him any answers, and he decided not to fish for any.

On Natasha's birthday, he had gone out to get her a single red rose. He had read somewhere that a single red rose depicts utmost devotion to the person who receives it., so he thought of it as a perfect present. But when he got there, he was greeted by an ugly surprise. Natasha was half naked, her bra and pants still on, kissing Hawkeye fiercely against the wall. He, who was shirtless, was kissing her back with the same amount of passion. It was the worst sight for him to see.

"I love you." she murmured in between kisses.

To hear her moan for him, to see her look at him with that desire she had given him. His heart was shattered, broken into a million pieces. The anger had not come in yet. It was all feelings of guilt, betrayal, and sorrow. He couldn't say anything, only stand there and let the red rose fall out of his hand. He stared at them, unable to pull his eyes away from her. Doubts of their whole relationship passed through his mind. Everything he feared was coming alive. That she would leave him for the hawk. That he would be left alone forever.

It took them a good give minutes to realize that Loki was there. By then, a single tear streaked down his cheek.

"Loki!" Natasha exclaimed breathlessly. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same thing for him." he answered coldly.

"Look, this isn't what is seems-" Loki couldn't stand it anymore. All of the sudden the sound of her voice got him irritated. The way she look at him made him even more mad.

"How could you." He said. He didn't dare scream or yell. It would only bring attention to them. "After everything, you go and make love to that hawk. Dammit! You have children with me!" he stayed calm on the outside, but his voice was filled with hurt and anger. "You even said that you'd never leave, yet you do." Another tear made its way down his face. Natasha made her way closer to him. She tired to touch him but he swat her arm away. "Don't you dare touch me." he hissed, stepping back. He could see the hawk out of the corner of his eyes, staring at them openly.

"Loki I'm sorry." she whispered, her voice uneven.

"Thats a lie." he said. "Everything about you was a lie!" he couldn't keep himself calm anymore. "I let you in and let you see the real me, and what you do in return? You go and make love to that hawk of yours!" he took a deep breath. "You never truly loved me, did you." Loki said.

"Loki of course I loved you!"

"You loved me! It was the past! I just can't stand it." Loki wiped away the sheen line of sweat on his face. Natasha moved forward and kissed him fiercely, but Loki pushed her away so there was a four foot distance between them. "Did you ever think of the outcome of your actions? Did you?" he waited for her answer. Tears were flooding down her face as she looked down at the carpet.

"No." she whispered.

"I thought I actually knew you. I thought that we were something there. Turns out it was all a lie. You took advantage of me. Took advantage of my feelings. Did you even care?" When she didn't answer, Loki got even more mad.

"Fuck this." he hissed. Loki ran out of the room and into the hallway. He didn't care who saw him. He was angry. Loki was on a mad dash to find his way out of the Stark's building. He needed to get away. He ran through the different floors, knocking over many people, one of them was Tony Stark himself.

"Hey Loki!" he said. When he got a good look at Loki, his eyes widened. "What happened?"

"None of your concern." Loki yelled behind him as he ran off. He jumped down many flights of stairs, not bothering to take the elevator. He could hear her following him, going quickly, but not fast enough. When he got outside, it was pouring rain. He smiled. It was like those Midgardian movies he had seen. He heard Natasha so he started running down the NY streets in the middle of the night. Not many people were out that night. They were all at home with their own minor problems.

"Stop!" he did so, and decided to listen to her side of the story. "I'm sorry, okay? I was stupid, and lost in the moment. I was confused and scared, and I didn't know what to do. I'm just sorry I-"

"Have you ever read the book To Kill A Mockingbird?" Loki asked. Natasha was shocked from the question.

"N-no." she stuttered. She was shivering from the cold, her hair was drench and so were here clothes. Loki desperately wanted to hug her, tell her everything was okay, but everything wasn't okay. Everything was terrible.

"I suggest reading it," Loki paused. "Because there is one part where the father said, 'You don't know someone until you look at things from their point of view, slip into their shoes and crawl around in their skin.' Why don't you try it." Loki felt on the verge of tears. He didn't know what to do. He was completely heartbroken and ripped apart.

"I just want to know why!" He screamed. The nearest pedestrians gave them looks of sorrow. As if they knew what they were talking about. "Why you would go and be so selfish! Why!" He screamed out the last word. She started sobbing, tears streaming freely down her face.

"Loki, I'm sorry, I-"

"I don't want your apology. I think you've caused enough damage to be over apologizing." he said coldly. Loki closed his eyes. "Do you remember when you said forever and always? Because I damn do. I remember it like it happened yesterday. You made a promise, and yet here we are today, arguing like children that both want the same toy." Loki took a deep breath.

"I'm setting you free, Natasha, because if you love someone you should set them free." he paused and stared at her right in the eyes. "I will never forgive you, so remember. If you plan on breaking the archers heart, that was the right way to do it. Adieu, Natasha." Loki teleported himself away. He vowed never, ever to fall in love again. No matter who it was. He vowed to make sure his children never fell for someone who would break their heart, just like his was broken.

* * *

**Any good? I was unable to sleep until I finished the chapter. Its longer than usual so thats good. You may be thinking "Now what?" The next chapters will each be spanned out year by year of how their children grow up with no mother. YES, I do not intend on making Natasha a main character anymore, but I do intend on putting someone else as their substitute mother. _  
_**

**Ciao~**

**blackpeagsus**

**PS- Adieu means a long term farewell in French.**


	4. Chapter 4

_~This is the first day of my life_  
_I swear I was born right in the doorway_  
_I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed_  
_They're spreading blankets on the beach~ First Day of My Life, Bright Eyes_

* * *

**_One Year Old_**

Loki stood on the balcony of the palace, Maeve and Mac in each arm. As he stared out at the rest of Asgard, he couldn't help but think of what life would be like if Natasha was still with them. Would they be living in the palace? At their old house in the outskirts of Asgard? He couldn't help but , he was angry at her and mad for the things she did. He would never forgive her for her sins. She broke his heart into a million pieces, shattered it like glass, and yet she would still come back to him. Mac squirmed around in his arms, wanting to walk. They both knew how to walk, but Maeve preferred to be carried.

"Are you faring well?" Loki heard Frigga ask from behind him. He had been thankful for his mother's help for the past few months.

"Yes, mother." Loki replied. Frigga knew it was a lie. She stepped beside Loki and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It will be alright, Loki." she squeezed his shoulder gently. "You have family here that is willing to help you whenever you call."

"That would only be you." Loki said cooly. Frigga turned her head and gave Loki a look.

"It would not only be me. Thor would most definitely help, your father would help too. You may think yourself as an outcast, but we are your family, Loki." Frigga squeezed Loki's shoulder again. "Come. Why don't you take Maeve and Mac out to the gardens?"

"That would be a good thing to do." Loki murmured. He gave Frigga a quick kiss on the forehead and walked off to the gardens.

..~~..~~..

"I don't think that this is a good idea."

"Well why not brother? It will teach them that they are lucky-."

"No. It shows them the slaughtering of Asgardians." Thor gave Loki a disapproving frown.

Loki and Thor stood in the outskirts of Asgard debating wether to show the children the secret battles between the peasants of Asgard.

"But Loki-"

"No."

"When they are older?"

"Maybe." Thor nodded and started to walk off in the direction of the palace.

"Thor?" Loki asked suddenly. Thor stopped immediately and turned to see what was wrong. But all he saw was his niece, nephew, and a brother who looked completely lost.

"What have I done?"

* * *

_**Thank you everyone who followed! Sorry for the long gap between updates!**_

_**~blackpegasus19**_


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